Archive | June, 2012

That’s What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas pt5

29 Jun

Thursday May 3, 2012

Up until this point I had been SUPER proud of the fact that I had not woken up hung over. I won’t say I was hung over, since I like to brag that I wasn’t hung over in Vegas, but I was a little hung over. I think it was more lack of sleep and dehydration, but it was a rough start.

We slept in, I spent a good amount of time unpacking, organizing and repacking (because I’m irrationally meticulous) and checking the room for remaining items that could come home with me.

We went to Mr. Lucky’s again to have chinese food for brunch and then wandered around the hotel. TOGA didn’t want to go anywhere, which of course drove me insane since we had left our bags with the concierge and checked out all ready.

Luckily there was a tattoo parlor right in the Hard Rock. Best souvenir EVERRRRRR!!

However, that only killed an hour or so.

I convinced TOGA to go at least see the pools with me. My bathing suit was packed and TOGA wanted to stick to the shade so no hope of lying out, but at least we did some exploring.

I began to go a little insane with his lack of cooperation so when Matt called and wanted to meet up, I was begging for any sense of relief from the monotony. He filled us in on what happened after we split up the previous night over another trip to the diner before (THANK GOD) it was time to drop me off at the airport. My flight left several hours before TOGA’s so we said our good byes, the boys ran off to do some male-bonding, and I rushing my tushy through the airport arriving just in time after a fiasco at the check in counter because my bag was too heavy (oops).

Where was I going? Not home, oh no, too early for that! A hop, skip, yellow-haired stewardess, and a jump later, I was in Arizona where my LP was waiting!!!

I think I’ll save the rest of that day for tomorrow 🙂

That’s What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas pt4

28 Jun

Wednesday May 2, 2012

Despite the negative ending to the night before, I woke up ready to make the day amazing. I gave up on TOGA for the entirety of the morning and left a note for him to call when he woke up because I was headed to the pool!

OMG this place was amazing!! I spent most of the morning at the Nirvana pool, because the Hardrock has more than one pool fyi. Nirvana is literally an indoor beach. Sand leads right into the water then gradually gets deeper. So cool! Great music, A TON of sun, and some postcard writing and I was feeling pretty content.

TOGA called at some point to tell me he was up and I took my time getting back to get ready for the rest of the day. I checked out the other pool areas and each was equally unique and equally cool.

TOGA and I went to Mr. Lucky’s for breakfast (the 24 hour diner in the hotel) and had a few mimosas and quite a yummy breakfast. We spent a good chunk of the day in the hotel still in recovery mode from the night before. We wandered over to CVS to grab supplies, got a couple bottles of free liquor, then got day drunk in the room listening to music and having uncharicstically (no idea how to spell that damn word) deep conversations about, well, us and life in general. It felt good getting some things off my chest and having a realistic conversation about where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.


Funny quote:
“I really want a handgun.” -TOGA
“WHAT!?!?!” -Me (a little too excitedly)
“Hand GUN not hand JOB!” -TOGA
“Oooooh, that makes more sense, I guess I was just hoping.”-Me

At some point we met up with Matt and Julie again for night time activities.

TOGA and I had been determined to hit a Vegas buffet, and so we did! Planet Hollywood – not too expensive and lots of options. Unlimited food, unlimited drinks, oh yeah!

After dinner, we headed out into the world and I brought my last glass of wine with me (you can do that here!!). That shit spilled everywhere until finally I dropped the whole glass in some casino. Alcohol abuse to the max, but obviously it was the glass that knew it was a bad idea. I got it on carpets, on people, on myself…I was a hot mess. We ended up in Harrah’s and I have no idea if the wine got that far, but I do remember the prostitute we met on the casino floor playing a slot machine. The conversation is fuzzy, but I do remember she was missing teeth, open about her drug problem and trying to recruit her friend into the biz. Best moment, she was talking about something, and all of a sudden exuberantly exclaimed, “I suck dick for change!” I kid you not.

Out on the strip, we hit up an open air casino with a craps table. I was going to play, but after watching for a while, I realized I was way too drunk to have any idea what the fuck was going on and walked away. The guys ended up sitting at a table to play War (true story) and I sat and got free drinks (cause that’s what I needed…sarcasm). It was actually really intense and fun and we made some new friends.

Unfortunately Matt and Julie got in real good with this one couple we were all talking to and wandered off with them with the hopes of getting in on a drug deal. Also true story. TOGA stayed at the table and played a few more rounds before we figured we should head back.

I was the only one of us that had any idea where we were going (miraculously) and navigated the strip to find our way back to the hotel. And what an adventure that was. Bright lights, the noises of Las Vegas, and two stumbling drunks. We almost got lured into a strip club, had to make a couple bathroom breaks, and stumbled across an actual episode of COPS. I think the walk back may have been my favorite, mostly because we survived.

Once we got back to the hotel, I was determined to go to Vanity just for one drink because it was the club the cast of Real World went to like every night (don’t judge me), but halfway through changing and realizing TOGA was having no part in that plan, I crashed. No, I didn’t just crash, I got mad, played music super loud while TOGA passed out, then crawled into the sheets admitting defeat.

That’s What you get for Waking up in Vegas pt3

28 Jun

**Forgot to post this yesterday, oops. I promise I had a mostly adequate reason. Today will just have an AM AND a PM post!**

Tuesday May 1, 2012

This was a rough day. Less for me, more for TOGA. I had a blast, but I think we just had differing senses of adventure :/

We both slept in a little and I didn’t really wander out on my own in the morning so we went down to breakfast together and ate at Fuel Cafe in the Hardrock. That morning there was some business to take care of: re-checking in, picking up our other set of vouchers, finding out about the shuttle, yada yada. After all that, we had some time to kill before we actually hopped on the shuttle to the strip so TOGA wanted to play some slots. I sat with him, had a couple drinks, and WON 200 DOLLARS!!! Well it was over that, but I played it back down a tad. It was friggin AMAZING! Thank you Monopoly!!!

With that as a high to start my morning, we ventured out into the world. The shuttle took us to the Fashion Show Mall which was a little farther up the strip than we had explored yet. I’m a girl, so I love malls, and this one was a douzie. We wandered the mall, grabbed Philly Steak Sandwiches for lunch (regretted that decision later), and then decided (well I decided for us) to see what the North end of the Strip was like.

Let me say now that it was HOT that day, and in the desert there is very little shade. My goal was the Stratosphere, thinking it couldn’t be that far…right? Wrong.

We hit Circus Circus first because it was on the way and looked kind of cool. You literally had to walk through “Slots O’ Fun” (TOGA lost a chunk of his spending money for the day and I got souvenirs) before you got to the actual hotel part…which was uber ghetto. BUT there was a friggin amusement park inside…which TOGA wouldn’t let me play in. He was being such a negative nancy I wanted to punch him. He didn’t want to explore, he would’t let me go in the park, he wouldn’t even browse the stupid carnival stores with me…dumb ass.

We ended up at the back end of the hotel and I said we should go back the way we came because this didn’t look right, but he didn’t want to back track…DUMB ASS! (not that I’m bitter) Apparently there is an RV park at the rear end of Circus Circus. How do I know this? Because we ended up wandering around in it looking for the damn road. Do you have any idea what its like being stuck on a tarmac in the middle of the fucking desert when its a thousand degrees outside? HELL FUCKING HELL.

After finally emancipating ourselves from the worst adventure of my life, we had to find our way back to the strip. I was still determined to see the Stratosphere, and TOGA figured we had made it that far anyway, we mine as well. Super cool building, with super cool stuff to do, but we decided we’d wait until later because it would be cooler at night.  Spoiler alert: we never went back.

Rest was essential, but after some sitting, an impromptu photo shoot, and a little facebook bragging, we thought we better start the journey back. Second worst adventure of the day. A long brutal journey, a desperate need for water (ALWAYS bring some with you), and poor TOGA’s blistering foot (and wear appropriate shoes) nearly brought us to our untimely ends, but we survived to tell the tale. However, we had just missed the damn shuttle back to the hotel. We sat in the mall for a while to recover, but then wandered over to a bar to have a well-deserved drink.


I was not impressed with this one, and I think the bar tender was a douche, but there was alcohol and we ended up getting in touch with our Vegas friends while we were there. They were ready for a night on the town and willing to come pick us up, so that seemed logical.

The second wind kicked in and we went down to Freemont Street, which is old Vegas, way up the strip. Such a cool place. The night started off great! We went to the Golden Nugget which was so hilariously old and felt like we had taken a trip in the Tardis (bonus points if you get that reference). The hotel pool had a giant shark tank in the center and a water slide that went right through the middle. I was sad I didn’t have my bathing suit.

Freemont Street itself is a covered pedestrian walk with crazy lights and casinos and so much stuff going on all at once. Sensory overload to the max! Every I think hour, the ceiling lights up and there is a show with music blasting over your head. We watched that then wandered into some of the casinos. Mermaids in particular we hung out at for a while and had some free drinks while we point a little money in the machines.


At some point we decided it was time for food. That is the point things took a swift turn. Maybe it was the sun from the day’s adventure, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the grumbling in my stomach, but my one request was something to eat and a drink in my hand. I was tired of gambling, I wanted something that would sustain me, and I wanted to be able to sit and drink for a bit with my companions.

We wandered forever looking for something because no one wanted the same thing, my stomach started to complain louder, and Julie kept wanted to stop and gamble. I was slowly starting to reach my maximum and TOGA could see it, but didn’t know what to do about it. I knew I was being irrational, but it felt like no one cared, like I had gone with the flow, not made any demands, but the one thing I wanted, I couldn’t have.

Then came Heart Attack Burger. It was a restaurant with a huge scale in the front so you could brag about how unhealthy you were and where everything was made in bacon grease. The very idea made me made me want to puke and I said as much. The guys really wanted to go, but they were able to accept my disgust, but only the first time we went by. The second time, when we still hadn’t found food, they insisted. I was over arguing and really over eating at that point, so I said I would go in and sit while they ate. At least I would get my drink request met. Only, the thing about that particular restaurant was that you couldn’t go in unless you wore a hospital gown. I explained to the hostess that I wasn’t going to be eating and I really didn’t want to wear it, but she insisted and I stormed out.

I had hit my breaking point and wandered down the street, drunk and crying, not caring if anyone followed. I tried to sit on a curb to collect my thoughts and call my best friend, but got reprimanded by a cop, which only made it worse. I started wandering again, and didn’t pay attention to where I was going because I just needed to get away from the noise and the lights. I didn’t get lost or anything if that’s what you are thinking, but I did manage to get myself pretty freaked out. It wasn’t that hard to find my way back though and tried to decide if I wanted to eat by myself or start walking back. I was pretty sure I could make it, but I still wanted to drink, and thought food might be a good plan.

Before I could make a decisions, Julie called me and told me they were waiting for me outside Heart Attack Burger. This surprised me as I had assumed they had gone in to eat without me. I was taken by surprise and this shocked me into a little logic so I went back over and it was suggested we go back down to the main strip. The rest of the night is kind of a blur of bitterness and frustration, but I did get to see the Luxor, the Exaliber, and New York New York while we continued our hunt for food. I was over eating and every time someone asked my opinion I clearly stated my only request was alcohol. No one could make a decision, however and they ended up eating at fucking McDonalds. I HATE McDonalds.

Somewhere in New York New York we stumbled across the Coyote Ugly bar and I wanted to go SO BAD. Did we? Of course not. There was a cover so no one wanted to. I was mad, but kept suggesting other places we saw, but kept hearing no. Finally I just went to the damn bar in the center of whatever casino we were in and ordered a Jameson on the rocks because I was tired or following other people and needed a damn drink. I think TOGA paid for it which was the least he could do after I had lent him gambling money and followed his lame ass around all night.

After that TOGA and I pretty much pushed to go back to the hotel and I think we were all done with each other for the night. It took forever to find the car and then one the way back we got lost because, again, no one would listen to me. I was over it and just glad to be headed back so I stopped trying and let them muddle it out. At the hotel, I asked TOGA if he wanted to go down to the 24 hour diner…nope…room service?…nope. Finally I just ate goldfish and went to bed.

That’s What you get for Waking up in Vegas pt2

26 Jun

Monday April 30, 2012

(The only post that actually happened in Vegas)

I am never leaving this town, I have without a doubt found my home. Yeah yeah I know, everyone keeps telling me to wait a couple days and see if I’m still saying that, but seriously.

Its Tuesday morning (its only TUESday!!) and I’m too tired to move, but still stuck on east coast time so my body thinks it slept in too late even though here its only 8am and we didn’t get home and into bed until close to 3am. As an alternative to trying to roll over to force myself to sleep more which won’t work and will end up just frustrating me, I decided to start this post. I don’t know if I’m going to try to do it all in one or break it up (probably the later), but I do know I won’t post it until I get home and can add pictures.

This place is AMAZING! Bright lights, alcohol everywhere ALL the time, and so much to see and do. It has exceeded my expectations beyond my wildest dreams.

We didn’t end up going out Sunday night (I know fail). I was a little aggravated as that had been my intention but TOGA didn’t want to after we finally got to the hotel and checked in close to 2am. I was going to just go have a drink somewhere by myself, but instead took a bath and had a minibar nip (which probably cost ten bucks). I can see how it was the responsible decision, but the rockstar in my head is still disappointed to such an anticlimactic first night.

The hotel room is FUCKING amazing!! We are staying at the Hard Rock in a suite and it is the best room I have ever stayed in ever.

    (the swan 2?)

Monday (for all intensive purposes for the rest of this post today) I was up bright and early…6am here as a matter of fact…after only 3ish hours of sleep. My body thought it was 9am and freaked out that I wasn’t up. Obviously I wasn’t going to wake TOGA up, so instead I did an 8 minute abs workout and a little booty buster then took my time getting ready for the day. When it was 9am and TOGA still was not ready to get out of bed, I decided to go exploring solo…and find coffee. I started meandering around the hotel. All the hotel/casinos are hugemongous (some obviously more so than others) and ours is moderately sized, not difficult to navigate, but plenty to see.

I found my bearings, found me some starbucks, and saw a good chunk of what there was to see within the Hard Rock itself, then decided to take this adventure outside. The Hard Rock is technically on the strip, but its a good mile from the Las Vegas Blvd which is the quintessential “Vegas,” then the Blvd itself is a good 7-8 mile stretch. I didn’t really realize this when I started walking, but I learned quickly when I was walking through the dessert in my sundress. In all honesty it wasn’t that bad and I walked that stretch at least 3 more times that day, gotta work off the alcohol intake somehow.

Anyway, I didn’t go further than Planet Hollywood which was on the corner of Harmon (the street the Hard Rock is on) and the Blvd. Pretty much a glorified mall that I wandered around and checked out breakfast deals. I decided to wait for TOGA for food and, more importantly, my first drink.

I called TOGA around 10am and he said he was going to get out of bed and get ready so I started my treck back. I was going to take a taxi, but decided against it.

After I grabbed him, we walked back to the Blvd. and did a little exploring. I wanted to go to a breakfast buffet, specifically at the Bellagio, but we had some trouble navigating. It was fine though and didn’t actually find it until lunchtime. In the process, we saw Caesar’s Palace, The Bellagio, and ended up down at Planet Hollywood again where we actually ended up eating. I can’t even put into words the beauty and decadence of it all so I’m going to throw in a few pictures which won’t even come close to portraying it either, but they’ll give you an idea. We saw so many beautiful pieces of architecture, the world’s largest H&M store, an pretty sweet NFL store, and designer brands galore. We did some gambling and I even won a little money…which of course didn’t last long when I tried to attempt black jack later on. That is NOT something I’m good at fyi.



When we finally did sit down to eat it was happy hour at the place called Yolos in the Planet Hollywood casino. We definitely decided happy hours were good ideas for saving money and intend to take advantage.

We headed back to the Hard Rock at that point to avoid anymore gambling and maybe pick up the free bottle of alcohol that we got with out room reservation. That part didn’t happen because the place we needed to get it closed at 5, but naptime was a better idea, especially since we were both pretty well day drunk at that point.

A couple hours later, TOGA’s friends Matt and Julie who recently moved to Vegas were texting him and we decided we’d meet up. We got ready, grabbed a drink at the hotel bar and waited. When they got there (with their car!) we debated what to do and with the semblance of a plan headed out.

Las Vegas nightlife is exhilarating to say the least. I don’t want to go into everything we did (since there was SOOO much in so few hours) so I’ll hit some highlights…

Aria and Crystals: we just walked through but it is a wanna-be extravagantly classy girl’s fantasy.

Sugar: a store full of clothes and candy…and some candy clothes


The Flamingo: learned some tips and tricks for gambling from our friends

Harrahs: there was a little free standing bar where the bartender did all these amazing tricks and made TOGA a four foot tall long island


On our way to our next stop we saw this woman with a parrot and a smaller bird. Another couple was taking pictures with the bird on their heads and we stopped to watch. Someone suggested that I should do it…so, well, I did. Side note, the woman was from Peabody so we chatted a bit about north shore gossip.


One of the goals of the night had been to see two free show, one was a volcano in front of the Mirage and the other was a pirate show in front of Treasure Island. We saw the volcano driving in, but missed seeing the show closer. The pirate show we started, but then they cancelled it due to technical difficulties before they even got halfway through. Fail.

When the pirate show was a fail, we went wandered back towards Planet Hollywood. On the way we found this bar called Rockhouse which I think was shutting its doors in the near future. One of the girls working there asked Julie and I if we wanted free shots. Of course we said yes, but once in there, she offered to let us play beer pong for free instead with the guys. Definitely down for that! We played girls against guys and Julie was driving later so she made me drink all the shots the boys made, but I wasn’t complaining and we SO won on my fantastical final shot (which is a rare occurrence).

One of the reasons we stopped near the bar in the first place was to get a guitar. Not just any guitar, a guitar full of alcohol…yeah, epic. Not only did I acquire this amazing item, but I also completed my challenge for the night. I was challeged for day one to get a picture of myself drinking from the bottle at a bar or in a casino. I asked her if she’d pour a shot into my mouth and she all too willingly obliged. Challenge accomplished!!

At this point we figured it was time for food, so when we made it to PH, we had the best sandwiches in the world at The Earl of Sandwich. I wish I had been one of those annoying people who takes pictures of their food so I could relive the experience.

There was more wandering around, a little gambling, and plenty of drinking. It is all kind of blur until Hooters, but I do know slowly the alcohol and sleep deprivation began taking its toll so by the time Matt and TOGA decided they wanted wings, I was all for any opportunity to sit down. I ordered a coffee and stole some wings, but mostly I was trying to find my second wind because Matt and Julie still wanted to take us to Freemont Street. Thanks God by the end of the meal we decided to hit Freemont the next night, because I honestly don’t know if I would have made it home.

I may be a rockstar but my body felt like it was 4am and I had only slept four hours total that day. I think I had done pretty well so I have no shame in saying that is how the night ended.

Except it didn’t end there really because we had to find out way back to the car. Drunk, exhausted, and with very little sense of direction, it was all I could do to keep my feet moving at a reasonable pace. We did eventually find the car, and somewhere between 2 and 3 in the morning I was back at the hotel, but that whole part of the night is one I could have done without. Life lessons happened there.

That’s What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas pt1

25 Jun

Sunday April 29, 2012

(I’m putting dates in because, well I’m a slacker and want to have some idea of when these events actually occured as opposed to when I’m posting them)

GO! GO! GO! This vacation actually started Thursday. I didn’t want to work, TOGA was stressy, and he also needed new clothes since he dressed like a salt-and-peppered 16 year old in an old man body. That last point is important because he hadn’t gone real clothes shopping since the last time his mom made him and he asked for my help. Playing dress-up with a giant Ken doll? What girl WOULDN’T say yes to that!!

I left work early Thursday (I’ve been doing that a lot lately…bad employee), we went shopping (got him to, if not buy, at least try on some awesome stuff…grey skinny jeans, mmmhmmm), and we washed the shame of neither of being as in shape as we’d like with $1 mixed drinks at Phat Katz (yes, that is a real bar’s name).

Friday, after showering off the hang over I drove back down to MA, not to go to my real job, but at least get a few dog walks in for my part time job. Sloth came over that night and helped me continue liver preparation for sin city, but I woke up the next morning way too early and fighting a cold.


I refused to be defeated and suffered through a long, grueling day of work. It figured one of my busiest days would be while I was sick, stressed, and still needing to pack.

Sunday was not much better and instead of being drunk on the plane, psyched to be on my way to the city I have referred to my personal Mecca for years, I was tired, pressed for time, and missed my train. I was saved from one of the loves of my life who drove me to Logan on super short notice where I somehow still managed to check in, get through security, and be sitting at my gate with time to spare.

I had a lay over in New Jersey . Stupid TOGA and I make a great pair since this was the first time we realized we had the same lay over and were taking the same plane to Las Vegas. Plus side – we figured it out and spent our lay overs together. Negative side – my seat was in the bowels of the plane and his was close to the rich people, a situation which could have been avoided with better observational skills.

Moving on. First sign this trip was going to be epic: We are waiting in line to get on the plane with the rest of the cattle, and there are these three people behind us looking rather confused, talking amongst themselves. I overheard them and answered a couple questions no one could come up with the answers to. Sometimes I’m a ice person. They were very appreciative and we all started chatting while we waited. One of the women was very interested in mine and TOGA’s relationship and asked him if he was gong to marry me in Vegas. We started giggling as she had unknowingly stumbled into an inside joke (there were bets being placed on whether or not we would get married or one of us would kill the other back home) and we made a polite joke about it. The woman proceeded to tell TOGA that he was crazy if he didn’t marry me because I had “a very calming presence and great child-bearing hips.” I wish I had a picture of his face so I could save that look forever!!

She then told us that we shouldn’t have some cheesy fake Elvis impersonator preside over the nuptials, instead we should ask “Wayne” when he walks by and do it on the plane. Both of us were a little confused and assumed this woman was drunk, high, or plain crazy, but as I gave my boarding pass to the attendant at the front of the line a man and a woman walked up the Premier Seating line to board. They made TOGA wait to allow these people through, damn first class douche bags! I looked over and did a double take because this particular first class douche bag looked extremely familiar. TOGA got through and while waiting behind this duo to board, I kept turning the facts over in my mind. All of a sudden TOGA whispered, “I know that guy from somewhere,” and all of a sudden the pieces fell into place. WAYNE FUCKING NEWTON!!

I tried to inform my cohort secretly as the woman obsessed with getting us married was still right behind us, but he was not on the undercover bandwagon. She noticed his realization, and proceeded to tell Wayne Newton that TOGA and I were getting married. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

One 5 hour plane ride away from LAS VEGAS!!!!!

Half Baked – a Sunday night adventure

24 Jun

This is the most shitty-ly edited video ever and way too long, but I give up. Its mostly funny, at least to me, so here’s that failed attempt. I put way too much time into this to not post it.

PS sorry for all the awkward boob shots…obviously this medium is not my forte


23 Jun

I fail at any sort of consistency with any project I begin. Have you guessed this yet?

First, I keep mentioning this trip I went on to Las Vegas at the fucking beginning of May. Well guess what! Those blogs are finally almost done…please contain the excitement.

Also, I had this inkling to start a fun little video series which was potentially going to be named “Half Baked” and post it in my blogs once a week. After the first one took me two weeks to edit, I decided that idea is down the toilet, but there is one mostly finished video that I’ll be posting.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because ALL OF THAT SHIT is going to be posted THIS WEEK!!!

One a day…that’s an almost promise.

Starting tomorrow, Sunday, everyday this week…in theory.

Its what I’ve been doing today instead of work I need to catch up on.


That’s all for that randomness…see you tomorrow 🙂