Self Evaluation is Hard

16 Jul

RANDOM POST!!

UuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuuuMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmMmMMmMm, yeah.

I have a lot of thoughts in my head that need to be shared, and no, I am not drunk (entirely). Its only 9, get you head out of the gutter! Whores.

Remember that one time when I got that DUI and then had to go take alcoholic classes (aka 24D classes that were more like therapy, but I hated them so much I called them whatever the fuck I wanted to)? Well I missed a few, for entirely legit reasons (except that one I just slept through), so now I am being re-traumatized visa vie make-up classes. UGH!!

Anyway, tonight the guy I had was cool and more interesting than my actual teacher/therapist/torture supervisor and it didn’t entirely feel like hell…until the end. Fucking ass hole had the audacity to give HOMEWORK!! Who the fuck does that? Fuck.

We had to evaluate out physical/emotional/self-worth relationships to drinking. Basically there’s this sheet with lists of things we have to circle if they have been affected by our drinking. AND THEN we have to give it to a friend or family member and have them do the same thing. Hells balls if I’m giving it to a family member, so I gave it to LP aka my best friend, aka the only one I trust not to judge or lecture me in any way.

Partially it was a slap in the face, partially I already know I may or may not have a problem, but mostly I don’t need to tell some sweaty, fat, bald man that doesn’t give two shits even if I do! I’m ok with where I am despite my hiccups here and there, I’m alive, I’m still having fun, so just, stop. Would I encourage anyone to live my lifestyle, no. Would I have concerns if I saw someone else living the way I live, yes. However, you don’t know me. I’m cool for now. Whatever.

Complete change of subject, mostly because I’m sick of that one. I am currently OBSESSED with Daily Grace. Go check her out. Seriously.

In closing, a random thought I found from when I was drunk the other night that I thought was rather poetic/insightful/random/slightly relavant:

I’m not entirely single because I want to be. Its because I’m so good at the lie, and so scared of the truth. Sex, lust, infatuation, they’re all so simple, easy. Truth and commitment, a future beyond the morning after, now that my friends is terrifying. Walls are safer. They contain you and all the parts you’re sure no one will want to see, they keep you safe.

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