Archive | October, 2012

I get by with a little help from my friends

24 Oct

Social media sights get a lot of negative talk, and for good reason. We as a society have become much to programmed into the techno world with less and less face-to-face interaction. I rant as much as the next person about it on a nearly daily basis (while at the same time, very much misusing my ability to speak to a vast amount of people). But for all the negative things attributed to the internetual modalities of communication, there are a fair amount of positive aspects that can be derived as well.

I wanted to share one example of this because it inspired and moved me during a time I was struggling with some of my life choices (like yesterday).

I posted on my FB wall: “New food for thought: what make a life full? Is living responsibly always the best decision we can make for ourselves or are we supposed to take risks and live as unhindered as we can? In essence what are the things we will regret at the end of it all?”

TS responded: “The idea that we can only have a fulfilled and god-centered life if we only do hard things that make us grow/miserable–I cannot agree with this. If we are to truly be the very best that we can in order to help as many other people that we can, then happiness is key. 

Happy people have more to give than unhappy people. 

And I’m not talking about just chasing pleasure after pleasure. I’m talking about true happiness and finding the place in the world where you personally fit. Some people fit in one place their whole lives. Others need to travel, finding fulfillment in many places. We should look at other’s lives as guidelines, not rules–things to maybe try so we can find what works best for us. 

Good luck my friend.”

BC responded: “Happy people have more to give than unhappy people. 

I completely agree, but your initial statement somewhat contradicts that in a few ways. 
1) people do find pure, unsolicited, genuine happiness through God. Some may say it gives people the strength and the example, as Christianity means putting the teachings of an exemplary figure, (J. Christ) into practice. It’s ACTION rather than thinking. 
2) Religion can bring out the very best in your spirit. Through that constant connection, your esteem, worth and value are raised due to a better understanding of yourself, purpose and direction. You DO have more to give, and an “endless, infinite battery” you use to recharge yourself everyday. 

I think we just need to tap into our source of energy, whether it’s God, individuals in your life, or exemplary figures that show us there is something deeper. It’s finding that energy source that will keep you running and active, being the best you can be in order to, as it was mentioned before, “help as many other people as we can”. Help them reach that happiness you’ve obtained:)”

KD responded: “Its technically about focusing on living in holiness, not happiness…BUT happiness falls into place naturally on our journey because its a gift from God…this is much easier said than done because we are humans. We will never be perfect in this life and God does not expect it, but He does expect us to SEEK holiness above our selfishness. Like I said, easier said than done- just ask me. 😉;) I also like what Tai emphasized- its not about seeking pleasure after pleasure, but finding where we fit.”

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“No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman” -W. Collins

16 Oct

I rarely have met my match when it comes to being stubborn. Although I would more often call it “passion,” that is not how it is always perceived (or even intended). In those rare moments when it appears I am giving up on an argument, more often than not I’m bored or simply no longer interested in the conversation. There are rare exceptions, however, in which I can’t stop the argument of my own free will. My opponent simply has me enthralled and I must press my point until I am understood to be right. I guess I am pretty stubborn.

I think I get it from my mother. No, I definitely get it from my mother.

Apparently TUP is one of those people. Its something in the wording that just feeds my desired, no my NEED to be accepted as the victor. Usually our back-and-forth is over menial things with no real impression on reality.

I think tonight was the first time that wasn’t the case. It doesn’t even matter what it was about, but we had a legit fight. Over something dumb. This is not odd, people fight, but I loved it. Dare I say it was arousing. I mean seriously, I wanted to have intense hate sex, argue some more and do it again.

This has never happened before.

Suffice it to say it was a burst of intensity I wasn’t prepared for. In the end, I don’t even think there was a victor, just two people with different viewpoints who had no choice but to accept the other wasn’t going to change.

I had a point to this I swear…before I got distracted by the hate sex comment. Now I’m all discombobulated. I’m sure that’s why you’re still reading this in fact, to see if I talk more about the hate sex. I’m not going to. I’m going to stop typing entirely I think. Really, if we thought about it, it reality it wouldn’t be that exciting anyway, considering.

#willgetthereeventually

Flowers are stupid and monogamy is confusing

9 Oct

I don’t know at what point flowers became the thing to give a girl on a date, but the idea is morbid and needs to be exterminated. What do you expect from me?

Guy: “Hey baby, here’s some flowers”

Girl: “Ermehgerd! They are so pretty and smell so pretty and make you look so pretty!! Must suck your dick now!!!”

…No

Really, its an insulting and morbid concept. It assumes the relationship is based on a cliche and sexist formality and is fleeting at best. Boy who have given me flowers in the past have almost across the board been insincere, uncreative, and hoping my simple female mind would be impressed by such a “gentlemanly” gesture.

Ok ok maybe I’m being a bit bitter about the whole thing and speaking from my own personal perspective (duh, my blog here). I don’t judge girl that much who enjoy getting pretty colored weeds that die within a week of receiving them. However, the concept confounds me. Chocolate, ok, yum. Even jewelry, although frivolous, has some purpose in existing. Flowers have no practical usefulness at all.

I know that I am not of the norm here, but I would much rather if an individual feels the need to impress me or woo me or whatever, bring a gift which is going to serve a purpose in my life.

With that said, yesterday I had quite a lovely date with TUP in Mystic, CT, and he brought me wine. Not just any wine, Riesling because he remembered it was my favorite. You best believe that boy got in my pants.

Speaking of, while I’m actually writing a post, TUP also decided to end the evening on a confusingly annoying note. Being as unexperienced as he is, I’m not entirely surprised, but it still took me by surprise a little.

We were having a great little spontaneous date which ended humorously sexy in my backseat, and then he drops this bomb on me. Not a bomb, that was an exaggeration, really it was meant to be a simple inquiry, but nothing in my life is apparently simple.

He in a very round about way asked me if I was sleeping/fooling around with anyone else. Of course I was! I don’t do monogamy very well, and although I would probably at least consider the concept when the time arose, a few facts are very evident to me. 1. despite how adorable and well meaning TUP is, he was a virgin when I met him and needs to build up to being able to satisfy me the way I need him to, 2. he lives quite far and its difficult for us to physically connect on a regular basis, 3. he has mentioned more than once he doesn’t want to label the relationship at this point and I have agreed entirely. I avoided the question, which of course he picked up on, and I eventually gave a vague answer.

He maintained that he didn’t want to define the parameters of our arrangement, but was clear he would not be trying to sleep with anyone else. Which I find ridiculous. I don’t think that after 28 years of virginity he is all of a sudden going to become some voracious sex-amal. I wouldn’t care if he did, but saying it out loud puts an expectation on me. I DO have a voracious sexual appetite, which at some point he might be able to fulfill, but at this moment the fact of the matter is, he cannot. It understandable, there is a certain amount of pleasure I get from the student-teacher relationship that naturally formed, but he’s sexually young and inexperienced, period.

Why can’t I tell him everything else without telling him the things he doesn’t want to know? Why do guys insist in claiming territory and getting upset when they find out the women in their lives might have needs they can’t fulfill? It would be one thing if we had been clear from the beginning, but we weren’t. How can one of the things I love about him the most, his innocence, be one of the most annoying things about moving forward?

Have I gotten in too deep?

The fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, all of this doesn’t matter. I’m moving across the country within the year and nothing and no one is going to keep me here. Really, the appropriate thing to do would be to tell him that’s the plan and save us both a lot of trouble. But I like him. I like not having to edit myself, or put on a show, or try to fit a mold. He doesn’t care. He sees me, and he doesn’t care I have some cracks. That is a rare and unique thing. I just worry that when he sees all the shit underneath that has built up over the years, he’ll be just like all the rest.

On that positive note! My groupon good came in today and he entire Harry Potter series on DVD is waiting for me. Although I might wait to start that adventure and read a few more chapters of Fifty Shade of Grey.