Archive | February, 2013

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

17 Feb

There are things in our lives that are out of our control and which we cannot change. When we encounter these things, we have three options.

  1. We can live in agony, obsessing over it, and believing we will simply have to remain miserable until the pain dulls.
  2. We can run away from it and mask it with other things that allow us to forget to some degree.
  3. We can accept it and find a way to incorporate it into our reality.

Obviously, not all of these are healthy. More often than not, however, we take the easy paths of misery or forgetfulness because adjusting our terms of how we encounter the world is an arduous process.

We are selfish beings. It is who we are and the sooner we can see that, the easier option number three is. Being selfish and only allowing ourselves to see the world through out specific lens, means that we have a difficult time accepting things that others see in a way we do not. More often than not, the situations that are beyond our control stem from someone else seeing something differently than we do.

In this instance, and the whole reason I am even on this tangent, is because of Toga. At some point I’m sure I will chronicle out whole stupid story, but for now the basic gist is that we are friends, I want more, and he does not.

It has been a long process; one that is still ever changing and adjusting, but maintaining our friendship when we are both on very distinctive pages in this has been, to say the least, complex. At the end of the day, it was and is a situation I have had to accept I cannot change and either walk away from or find a way to incorporate it into my life. There was a time, not too long ago (read “Does this mean I have to be an adult now??”), which I thought it would be easiest to walk away. I was wrong, although I can’t say that I have consistently been confident in that decision since.

It isn’t about consistency though. It is a moment-to-moment battle. It is a decision that has to be made again and again. But sitting here, watching him tinker with his newest car project for the last few hours, I can’t help but think it’s a battle I’ll continue to come out on the same side of. Sometimes a little heartache is good for us, makes us stronger, and it does get easier if they are worth having in your life. The biggest question is whether or not you can live with the choices you make.

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

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Surviving the Storm

9 Feb

If you live in the North East corner of the states, you are probably still huddled in your house, hopefully with power, eating the remnants of your emergency snacks. We had a good old fashion blizzard last night and there is over two feet of snow covering the ground outside. When I get over being bitter I have been stranded in a stranger’s house for almost 24 hours, I can at least be thankful I am warm, cuddled under blankets to watch a “Game of Thrones” marathon, and able to look out the window and see the beauty in the mess.

I don’t remember the last time I saw this much snow on the ground. It makes me thankful I’m moving to the desert even more than before. It also makes me long for the days when this made me excited instead of cranky. When a fresh layer of snow meant sledding and snowmen, instead of shovels and scraping off my car. I don’t even remember the last time I owned snow pants. There is something to be said about the hardiness of NElanders though. We know how to survive and we have a sense of community based on a shared misery.

I finally escaped shortly after starting this post and made it home to my own apartment. I think the thing that impresses me the most is the resilience of the human race. Not just because of the snow, but because of who we are as a whole. We conquer the nastiness of the world on a daily basis and still manage to find a smile even when the tempest is raging at our doors. We can face the storm (literal and figurative), survive, and find a way to enjoy it when we put our minds to it and I love that more than anything. That is where my positivity comes from. That is the reason I have faith in the world around me. It’s exhilarating and affirming, and makes it impossible for me to give up on the human race.

I feel like there was a lot more I wanted to say but I’d rather go make another blanket fort and spend the night watching movies with my bottle of wine.