“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”

24 Oct

May 2013 – – For the past few months there has been a hole in my life, initially easy to ignore, as of late easier to blame on missing family, friends, and the place I’ve called home for over 20 years…about a week ago, within the spanse of 48 hours the dawning realization occurred to me that although these things do in fact have an impact on my inner peace, the majority of the emptiness has been having no where to put my deeper need to put my healing hands (for lack of better terminology) to use. I missed my work, yes a job is important, but that driving force that put me in this profession in the first place is tantamount. I finally have a whole new gaggle of kiddos whose lives I can’t wait to be a part of.

After three long days of training and two days of shadowing, I was finally settled into a new rhythm and doing what I do best. Its not perfect, and not all of it is roses, but its fulfilling in a way that making coffee in a cafe could never be. It may just be because I am new, but it feels good to quickly have become a requested staff member.

It feels even better that within a half hour on my first day I had a client connecting with me and processing some tough stuff she was going through. These kids are so lost and most of them find it so hard to trust people that it is an honor to be so easily accepted as someone she could talk to.

Then the first day I was alone in a dorm after training I had to give a consequence out. I hate consequencing, always have. I used to work in a group home, a much different setting, but similar kinds of kids, back when I first graduated college. It was a difficult adjustment for me. The shy awkward kid I once was peeked it head out and taking the authority role on was a big step. Being here in a similar position adjusting so easily made me think back and see all the strides I have taken in the last five years. I always thought of my four years in school being the formative years, the ones that changed me and made me who I am. However, every once in a while a moment comes that reminds me life is a process of changing. Sometimes it is fast and hard and sometimes it is slow and steady, but it is a constant process.

Finally, I am thankful for supportive coworkers. They may not realize the impact of little acts of kindness, but they are enormous and meaningful. I feel connected to this place because of the people that surround me and I am immeasurably grateful for the opportunity.

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