Anarchy

12 Dec

We are human. Humans make mistakes. Some of us take responsibility for those mistakes, others do everything in their power to avoid responsibility.
Personally I don’t see the point in avoiding responsibility. It sucks, some people will judge you, you will lose some things, but in the end it is the only way to cleanse.
However, from time to time, even when you take the high road, even when you do everything in your power to be a compliant member of society, swallowing your pride and admitting your failure as a person, the world still shits on you and rubs salt into the wound. Today I crave anarchy.
Clearly today something has gone wrong, clearly I am venting, and clearly there is no where else I can do it. I have burdened those in my life enough with complaints and confusion, they may be tiring of it, or I may just be perceiving they are tired of it when truly they are not. Does it matter?
Now I am rambling.
Guilt is a hard and terrible thing. It makes the insignificant insurmountable, and weakens the strong to rubble. Shame is worse. Shame eats you from the inside out and make sink holes in your being. One day you are walking on solid ground, the next you are fifty feet under without a rope.
Maybe I should go watch some Brene Brown.

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