Tag Archives: crisis

Family Vacation version 26.0

30 May

I have not been on a vacation with my family in at least a decade. I honestly don’t even remember because once I started working this concept became increasingly more difficult. I became a slave to the dollar almost as soon as I started earning them for myself. I like a hefty savings account to take care of all of my stupid mistakes.

Mom proposed the idea to me several months ago and the planning process was hell until I washed my hands of it and told her to just tell me when to take time off work (I may be too OCD for my own good). It all came together in the end, and they arrived a couple weeks ago. We had Easter at my house, which I largely failed at. You see my boyfriend also decided to come out and meet them and between a life crisis, trying to plan a meal to host and overwhelming myself in the process, and having limited funds, we ended up going out to eat instead. It was pleasant none-the-less and everyone survived the meeting of the significant other so we will still call it a win.

My favorite boys

My favorite boys

Me, the BF, and the rents

Me, the BF, and the rents

My parents then left the following Monday to go to California for a week, returning Saturday. I took off a few days that week and we went on a mini road trip from Phoenix to Sedona, the Grand Canyon, the Hoover Dam, and Vegas. Other than four days being an awfully long time to be together non-stop, it went well and I saw some really cool things I have never had the chance to see before..and all free of charge (yay parents!).

Sedona was stop number one and it was absolutely gorgeous. We took a jeep tour up into the mountains on this old road that needs some major TLC but GPS still considers the shortest route from Sedona to Flagstaff (I’ll go the long way thank you). The views were amazing and when we got back we ate at this restaraunt where there were cowboys serving your food (yum). I ate bison just for shits and giggles…tasted like a cheeseburger. The only disappointment I had there was that Giselle was in town and I had not even one spotting!

Smokey the Bear Sedona Mom, Dad and I in Sedona

The next day we were off to the Grand Canyon, a stop I have been meaning to make for quite some time. I don’t think it is possible to describe the vastness of this place. I mean it exceeded my wildest dreams and I could have spent days there and still probably wouldn’t fully appreciate the magnitude. The downer was that some lady jumped off the edge shortly before we arrived. Apparently death follows my parents because the same thing happened on their visit to Niagra Falls.

It doesn't even seem real, I felt like I was staring at a painting

It doesn’t even seem real, I felt like I was staring at a painting

I loved this one with mom

I loved this one with mom

Family at Grand Canyon

After spending a day there just soaking it all in we headed off to Nevada. Another attraction that I have been meaning to make time for and also I was not entirely prepared for Рthe Hoover Dam. So many dam jokes were told my ears were bleeding, but we had a cool tour guide and it was neat to see the inside and learn about the history of this crazy engineering feat. Mom and I even high-fived across state lines.

Hoover Dam Hoover Dam Hoover Dam Hoover Dam

High fiving over the NV/AZ state line

High fiving over the NV/AZ state line

 

After spending a few hours there we headed up to Las Vegas!! Mom really wanted to see it, dad was no so much excited, neither left feeling it was worth the time. We stayed a the Flamingo for super cheap and they upgraded us to a suit which was pretty sweet. I had fun showing them around a little and actually managed to stay sober the whole time (yay self control!).

Las Vegas

Riding the moped in "Italy" at Caesar's Pa;ace

Riding the moped in “Italy” at Caesar’s Pa;ace

Dad and I

Dad and I

Mom and I

Mom and I

All in all it was a good trip, but as soon as we got home it hit me hard I had been non stop with my parents for four days and I needed some me time. I have a hard time doing that with anyone and I didn’t even have my house as a safe haven…ugh!! Anyway, we survived and I will be planning my next road trip hopefully very soon.

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Does this mean I have to be an adult now??

27 Aug

In a few short days I will be 25 years old. That is halfway through my 20s, a quarter of a century, probably at least a third of the way to dead. Its a big deal.

You may not have realized this about me yet, but I tend to have major freak outs over things most others would find fairly simple. I don’t think turning 25 is underwhelming, but more than once I have been informed it really isn’t that big of a deal, I’m still young, and I need to calm down.

NO!!

I feel what I feel and I can’t help it. I’ll have mini panic attacks, semi-inconvenient crises, and whatever the eff else I feel like having!!

FFeeeewww deep breathes.

Suffice it to say, I am dealing, but not always well. Part of me feels as if I should have progressed farther along my life path by now, part of me is impressed with myself for getting where I am and maintaining a rockstar lifestyle, and part of me wants to revert, abandon everything, and live on a commune for a few years (a commune with booze, and maybe some illegal substances).

Take my party for example. I’m having it a few days after the fact so I can celebrate with friends back home. What I really want to do is go on a tour of the Naragansette Brewery in Cranston, RI then out for lunch at my favorite chinese buffet. Instead of just saying this, I thought maybe I should make sure my friends weren’t expecting something a little more grown up. After days of no response, having to repeat myself, and one even saying he wants to throw a fucking surprise party for his fiance the same fucking day, what I really WANT to do is throw a fucking temper tantrum and make everyone do what I want to do. ITS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

Of course there is that little voice in my head telling me no and reining me in and reminding me I’m turning 25 and I need to be an adult about this and share my toys. However, there is still that 5 year old in there beating her fists on the ground and even if she manages to put on her party dress and play big girl for the day, she’s going to be pissed. Why should she (I) have to on the one day I’m supposed to be allowed to be selfish??

We’ll see what happens, but in all seriousness, this birthday has brought on a lot of self-reflection and evaluation of life choices. I have felt the need more than once to make some amends as well as make some hard decisions.

TOGA and I had a pretty rough fight over a week ago and haven’t spoken since. I don’t know that we will make nice this time, and for lots of reasons I’m ok with that. It breaks my heart, don’t get me wrong here. I’m devastated by this turn it seems we have taken, but it took just that one push to see just how unhealthy we are for each other. We bring out the worst in the other. I used to be able to say he makes me want to be a better person, but now all I see is judgement and blame for the things I can’t fix. I’m no better, and that is the point, we stopped building up and started tearing down.

Anyway, random tangent, but its things like that, and things that still need fixing from a year ago. I still yearn for that fresh start, a new path that breaks the old cycles. I need out of my comfort zone and into a new adventure. Quarter life crisis? Maybe, but who ever said that was a bad thing?