Tag Archives: CT

Reckless on the Road: Part 1

2 Mar

A few posts ago I announced this little New England girl was moving across the country to the wild west, aka Arizona. Yesterday the movers came and hauled most of my things out of my little apartment in Salem, MA and will safely carry it to my new place in Tempe leaving me and my dad to load the rest of it into my, up to that point, sturdy but compact Chevy Aveo. That was a whole ordeal in itself, but I don’t feel like reliving it. It felt somewhat like this:

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Needless to say, I got a really good work out in that day. I spent the night at my parents’ house since my dad was making the drive with me and the plan was to get an early start today. Considering we didn’t get back until close to 1am, this morning started later than intended.

Sign 1 things might not go smoothly: the ENTIRE PLAN is thrown off on the first step.

Well I guess the first step would have been packing, which although slow, went smoothly enough. Wednesday was devote to it and pretty successful if I do say so myself and then the Mormon boy I’ve been fooling around with came over to help finish up. Although all he really did to help was move a table, but he was fairly motivating.

Anyway, skipping that entire side story for the time being. Back to today.

Day 1: Uxbridge, MA to Morgantown, WV – 600ish miles

States: Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia

After running a few last minute errands, my dad and I were on the road before noon, snacks at the ready and energy drinks under the seat. I could even almost see out my back window!

The plan was to breeze through to Gallipolis, Ohio and stay with old family friends for the night. Up until about 175 miles before our destination, it was smooth sailing. I drove so we were making great time, we only had to stop a couple times for gas/food/bathroom, and traffic was pretty cooperative. Then I heard the noise. It was a weird scrapey/whooshy noise that last for maybe 30 seconds and went away. We brushed it off assuming it was something else…until it happened again. I pulled over and honestly I thought maybe something had gotten wrapped up into one of the tires. Popping the hood revealed nothing, but then the bitch wouldn’t start.

If I hadn’t been riding with my father any number of obscenities would have been streaming from my mouth, but not only did he keep my bad habits in check, he called AAA and pretty much took care of the whole situation. I am a spoiled princess and in times like this you have no idea how much I don’t care if you judge me for it.

Unplanned as it was, we managed, and I have to say people in West Virginia are really nice. We got towed to a garage who will take a look at it in the morning and since its where the tow truck came from, didn’t have to pay for the tow. The hotel we wound up at is in walking distance from the shop and gave a nice deal since I came in first and told a great sob story. The room itself is actually pretty swanky AND there’s a bar downstairs.

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LP reminded me earlier, maybe yesterday actually at this point, that everything happens for a reason. Until they tell me my car is dead and never coming back, I am thinking positive and looking at the bright side of things. This could have been A LOT worse.

For now let me leave you with a highlight real from the day:

*Quote from the radio: “People who aren’t scared, aren’t about to do anything interesting.”

*Tapas: best driving companion ever. He is a plastic piggy bank that looks like a pug and has a small penis. The dog walking company I worked for got him for me as a going away present and he has been an indispensable member of our traveling party.

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*Learn something new: How to spell Poughkeepsie

*Dad and I have very different tastes in music, but we found a common ground on classic rock which has become the soundtrack to this particular road trip.

*Dad: “I’m kind of glad Krispy Kremes didn’t make it up here. I’ve always thought of it as a southern thing and New Englanders have stolen all the other good ones: pecan pie…cotton…”

*In Unison: “BORN TO BE WILD!” then cracking up laughing

*We passed by signs for Turkey Hill a few times and every time I was reminded of Turkey Hill ice cream, but dad was confused why the sign kept making me think of ice cream. Until we had the best idea ever: Turkey ice cream. If weird things can be bacon flavored, why not turkey? I mean bacon can’t have the only hold on the market. We’ll start with ice cream and build an empire!

*We stopped at a rest stop in PA and not only was the Dunkin Donuts self serves, but we got a free joke with purchase.

You’re alone in a boat in the middle of a lake. The ONLY thing you have in the boat is a pack of cigarettes. How do you light your cigarette?

Open the pack, throw one into the lake. The boat becomes one cigarette lighter. BAHAHAHA

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*My car hates hills, and Maryland is full of them. (I’m blaming them for current circumstances)

*It never fails that there is never a bathroom when you need one most.

*When its dark and you break down in the middle of nowhere, there will inevitably be an ominous barn nearby…DON’T think of the Chain Saw Massacre! DO have Solitaire ready and waiting.

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Afterward by Tapas:

Adventure time!! I’ve seen so many things today and they even fed me some nice road snacks. I do wish they would stop making fun of my little penis. Its not really my fault after all. I can’t wait to see the humans tomorrow, I think they forgot me in the car. Oh well, good thing I can’t feel the cold!

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Flowers are stupid and monogamy is confusing

9 Oct

I don’t know at what point flowers became the thing to give a girl on a date, but the idea is morbid and needs to be exterminated. What do you expect from me?

Guy: “Hey baby, here’s some flowers”

Girl: “Ermehgerd! They are so pretty and smell so pretty and make you look so pretty!! Must suck your dick now!!!”

…No

Really, its an insulting and morbid concept. It assumes the relationship is based on a cliche and sexist formality and is fleeting at best. Boy who have given me flowers in the past have almost across the board been insincere, uncreative, and hoping my simple female mind would be impressed by such a “gentlemanly” gesture.

Ok ok maybe I’m being a bit bitter about the whole thing and speaking from my own personal perspective (duh, my blog here). I don’t judge girl that much who enjoy getting pretty colored weeds that die within a week of receiving them. However, the concept confounds me. Chocolate, ok, yum. Even jewelry, although frivolous, has some purpose in existing. Flowers have no practical usefulness at all.

I know that I am not of the norm here, but I would much rather if an individual feels the need to impress me or woo me or whatever, bring a gift which is going to serve a purpose in my life.

With that said, yesterday I had quite a lovely date with TUP in Mystic, CT, and he brought me wine. Not just any wine, Riesling because he remembered it was my favorite. You best believe that boy got in my pants.

Speaking of, while I’m actually writing a post, TUP also decided to end the evening on a confusingly annoying note. Being as unexperienced as he is, I’m not entirely surprised, but it still took me by surprise a little.

We were having a great little spontaneous date which ended humorously sexy in my backseat, and then he drops this bomb on me. Not a bomb, that was an exaggeration, really it was meant to be a simple inquiry, but nothing in my life is apparently simple.

He in a very round about way asked me if I was sleeping/fooling around with anyone else. Of course I was! I don’t do monogamy very well, and although I would probably at least consider the concept when the time arose, a few facts are very evident to me. 1. despite how adorable and well meaning TUP is, he was a virgin when I met him and needs to build up to being able to satisfy me the way I need him to, 2. he lives quite far and its difficult for us to physically connect on a regular basis, 3. he has mentioned more than once he doesn’t want to label the relationship at this point and I have agreed entirely. I avoided the question, which of course he picked up on, and I eventually gave a vague answer.

He maintained that he didn’t want to define the parameters of our arrangement, but was clear he would not be trying to sleep with anyone else. Which I find ridiculous. I don’t think that after 28 years of virginity he is all of a sudden going to become some voracious sex-amal. I wouldn’t care if he did, but saying it out loud puts an expectation on me. I DO have a voracious sexual appetite, which at some point he might be able to fulfill, but at this moment the fact of the matter is, he cannot. It understandable, there is a certain amount of pleasure I get from the student-teacher relationship that naturally formed, but he’s sexually young and inexperienced, period.

Why can’t I tell him everything else without telling him the things he doesn’t want to know? Why do guys insist in claiming territory and getting upset when they find out the women in their lives might have needs they can’t fulfill? It would be one thing if we had been clear from the beginning, but we weren’t. How can one of the things I love about him the most, his innocence, be one of the most annoying things about moving forward?

Have I gotten in too deep?

The fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, all of this doesn’t matter. I’m moving across the country within the year and nothing and no one is going to keep me here. Really, the appropriate thing to do would be to tell him that’s the plan and save us both a lot of trouble. But I like him. I like not having to edit myself, or put on a show, or try to fit a mold. He doesn’t care. He sees me, and he doesn’t care I have some cracks. That is a rare and unique thing. I just worry that when he sees all the shit underneath that has built up over the years, he’ll be just like all the rest.

On that positive note! My groupon good came in today and he entire Harry Potter series on DVD is waiting for me. Although I might wait to start that adventure and read a few more chapters of Fifty Shade of Grey.