Tag Archives: gambling

That Small Feeling You Get When Life Grows Too Big

12 Sep

This week I have felt smaller than small. Which is ironic because over the weekend I felt like a GIANT. Oh how far the mighty fall.

Sunday was my birthday. I am firmly in the downward swing of my 20s – 27, UGH. It isn’t the number so much, just the feeling that I haven’t grown up as much as I should have by now.

I went to Vegas for the weekend with my recently married lady friends and Michigan. It was a blast…with the usual bumps. I drove out Friday morning with the girls and we picked Michigan up from the airport. We couldn’t check in right away but the strip was calling anyway!

With a good buzz on a couple hours later and some sights seen, we checked in, got settled, and played some cards in the hotel. After a few rounds and a few more drinks, we went out for some more exploring. However, my patience was low and my libido was high (3 months does a number on you), so it wasn’t long before we separated and had some alone fun.

Fully satisfied and post-shower we were back out on the town…because that’s what you do in Vegas. We hit up Liasons, danced, talked…drank. Memory gets a little blurry around the time we left, but apparently I got a little grumpy. Best guess is because Michigan wouldn’t dance with me, but it could have been any other number of minor, perceived insults. Does it matter?

The hangover, needless to say, was harsh. I stayed in bed until almost one in the afternoon. I did manage to get up when the girls got back from the pool and consumed copious amounts of water with a splash of a few painkillers. Just in time for the brunch buffet! This was either the best idea ever or the worst, but either way it was yummy. I do regret not feeling well enough to partake in free mimosas though, I love mimosas. Vegas is about over indulgence and clearly thus far I was succeeding.

Since we hadn’t done any gambling yet, that is what came next. I lost 20 bucks in the slots and watched Michigan lose some money at the blackjack tables. No one was winning so naps sounded like a better idea (yes, I could sleep more). Feeling more alive, the second round of gambling proved more lucrative…for everyone but me…who was up 40 bucks at one point then lost it all…self control issues. I do enjoy the free drinks that come around when you are spending money though.

Afterwards we did the silly tourist thing, took some pictures, saw the Bellagio water show, all the fun things before changing and heading to this outdoor club near our hotel. I wore my tiara out since it was my birthday night. This turned into over indulgent bartenders giving me and my companions awesome free shots, and sometimes just pouring them into my mouth and the mouth of whoever was up there with me. That and they kept getting on top of the bar and pouring them into everyone’s mouths, it was like, why even buy anything? We ALL danced that night, I think Michigan was making an effort because it was an issue the night before and has been more than once previously. It was a live band even which I love!

I was not nearly as drunk as I was the previous night, but I still got a little weird after the girls left to utilize the empty hotel room. The drama started when Michigan and I finally left and I wanted to walk, but Michigan didn’t. I clearly do what I want so we walked. I don’t remember why, but he had my wallet and when I realized this, I asked for it back…aaaand he wouldn’t give it to me. Angry, I walked faster. Eventually he gave it to me, but the damage was done. I probably kept the fumes going for about a mile, but then I realized it was going to take forever to walk back, so we crossed the street at the mall and sat down.

Michigan, in an attempt to salvage the night, asked if I remembered what I had asked for for my birthday. I had asked for a timeline for when he was going to move so I could plan and stop freaking out that it was never going to happen and I was wasting my time. I was certain that it would be no later than early December, I could have sworn that we had mentioned this before. When he told me late January, maybe you can begin to imagine why my hopes were crushed. I hugged my knees into myself and buried my face in them as the tears welled up and spilled over.

When I finally got the tears to stop, I looked up, said, “I don’t know if I can wait until January,” and walked away.

Back at the hotel, I did the very adult thing of locking myself in the bathroom to lie on the floor until Maria came in and convinced me to go to bed. The cool tile just felt so nice.

Sunday I woke up feeling physically fine, but with a killer emotional hangover.

After we checked out, we still had a lovely day. It was my birthday! We had lunch at Planet Hollywood which I felt very proud to remember how to find. We took a ride on the ferris wheel and saw the entire strip, I recommend going at night though, it mostly just looks like desert in the day time. Then we had cupcakes at Sprinkles. I just couldn’t get rid of my little black cloud (insert Winnie the Pooh song).

I wanted him to fix it…or maybe just show me he was feeling as much hurt as I was. I hated (hate) that this is where we are at, five month of never enough.

To top it off, my parents didn’t call. LP wasn’t there, again. The car ride ahead seemed miserable. Even though I didn’t even want to look at him, I still didn’t want to say good bye to Michigan. Nothing felt in sync. Social obligation was the only thing staving off the inevitable break down.

I did eventually talk to Michigan about how much it sucked and he tried hard to sympathize, maybe even cheer me up, but I was firmly in my funk. A funk that stuck with me. The following week shrunk my spirit even further. All of the things acting together to microwave my positivity, optimism, and any motivation.

Yada, yada, yada, stop complaining. This is just where I am at right now. 27 and feeling utterly lost.

I have been reading Hannah Hart’s book and it has been a little shining light, not life changing or anything, just a good reminder that life sucks before it gets better. It helps that I have a major crush or her. But, srsly, I recommend it to all twenty-somethings.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” -Rumi

That’s What you get for Waking up in Vegas pt2

26 Jun

Monday April 30, 2012

(The only post that actually happened in Vegas)

I am never leaving this town, I have without a doubt found my home. Yeah yeah I know, everyone keeps telling me to wait a couple days and see if I’m still saying that, but seriously.

Its Tuesday morning (its only TUESday!!) and I’m too tired to move, but still stuck on east coast time so my body thinks it slept in too late even though here its only 8am and we didn’t get home and into bed until close to 3am. As an alternative to trying to roll over to force myself to sleep more which won’t work and will end up just frustrating me, I decided to start this post. I don’t know if I’m going to try to do it all in one or break it up (probably the later), but I do know I won’t post it until I get home and can add pictures.

This place is AMAZING! Bright lights, alcohol everywhere ALL the time, and so much to see and do. It has exceeded my expectations beyond my wildest dreams.

We didn’t end up going out Sunday night (I know fail). I was a little aggravated as that had been my intention but TOGA didn’t want to after we finally got to the hotel and checked in close to 2am. I was going to just go have a drink somewhere by myself, but instead took a bath and had a minibar nip (which probably cost ten bucks). I can see how it was the responsible decision, but the rockstar in my head is still disappointed to such an anticlimactic first night.

The hotel room is FUCKING amazing!! We are staying at the Hard Rock in a suite and it is the best room I have ever stayed in ever.

    (the swan 2?)

Monday (for all intensive purposes for the rest of this post today) I was up bright and early…6am here as a matter of fact…after only 3ish hours of sleep. My body thought it was 9am and freaked out that I wasn’t up. Obviously I wasn’t going to wake TOGA up, so instead I did an 8 minute abs workout and a little booty buster then took my time getting ready for the day. When it was 9am and TOGA still was not ready to get out of bed, I decided to go exploring solo…and find coffee. I started meandering around the hotel. All the hotel/casinos are hugemongous (some obviously more so than others) and ours is moderately sized, not difficult to navigate, but plenty to see.

I found my bearings, found me some starbucks, and saw a good chunk of what there was to see within the Hard Rock itself, then decided to take this adventure outside. The Hard Rock is technically on the strip, but its a good mile from the Las Vegas Blvd which is the quintessential “Vegas,” then the Blvd itself is a good 7-8 mile stretch. I didn’t really realize this when I started walking, but I learned quickly when I was walking through the dessert in my sundress. In all honesty it wasn’t that bad and I walked that stretch at least 3 more times that day, gotta work off the alcohol intake somehow.

Anyway, I didn’t go further than Planet Hollywood which was on the corner of Harmon (the street the Hard Rock is on) and the Blvd. Pretty much a glorified mall that I wandered around and checked out breakfast deals. I decided to wait for TOGA for food and, more importantly, my first drink.

I called TOGA around 10am and he said he was going to get out of bed and get ready so I started my treck back. I was going to take a taxi, but decided against it.

After I grabbed him, we walked back to the Blvd. and did a little exploring. I wanted to go to a breakfast buffet, specifically at the Bellagio, but we had some trouble navigating. It was fine though and didn’t actually find it until lunchtime. In the process, we saw Caesar’s Palace, The Bellagio, and ended up down at Planet Hollywood again where we actually ended up eating. I can’t even put into words the beauty and decadence of it all so I’m going to throw in a few pictures which won’t even come close to portraying it either, but they’ll give you an idea. We saw so many beautiful pieces of architecture, the world’s largest H&M store, an pretty sweet NFL store, and designer brands galore. We did some gambling and I even won a little money…which of course didn’t last long when I tried to attempt black jack later on. That is NOT something I’m good at fyi.



When we finally did sit down to eat it was happy hour at the place called Yolos in the Planet Hollywood casino. We definitely decided happy hours were good ideas for saving money and intend to take advantage.

We headed back to the Hard Rock at that point to avoid anymore gambling and maybe pick up the free bottle of alcohol that we got with out room reservation. That part didn’t happen because the place we needed to get it closed at 5, but naptime was a better idea, especially since we were both pretty well day drunk at that point.

A couple hours later, TOGA’s friends Matt and Julie who recently moved to Vegas were texting him and we decided we’d meet up. We got ready, grabbed a drink at the hotel bar and waited. When they got there (with their car!) we debated what to do and with the semblance of a plan headed out.

Las Vegas nightlife is exhilarating to say the least. I don’t want to go into everything we did (since there was SOOO much in so few hours) so I’ll hit some highlights…

Aria and Crystals: we just walked through but it is a wanna-be extravagantly classy girl’s fantasy.

Sugar: a store full of clothes and candy…and some candy clothes


The Flamingo: learned some tips and tricks for gambling from our friends

Harrahs: there was a little free standing bar where the bartender did all these amazing tricks and made TOGA a four foot tall long island


On our way to our next stop we saw this woman with a parrot and a smaller bird. Another couple was taking pictures with the bird on their heads and we stopped to watch. Someone suggested that I should do it…so, well, I did. Side note, the woman was from Peabody so we chatted a bit about north shore gossip.


One of the goals of the night had been to see two free show, one was a volcano in front of the Mirage and the other was a pirate show in front of Treasure Island. We saw the volcano driving in, but missed seeing the show closer. The pirate show we started, but then they cancelled it due to technical difficulties before they even got halfway through. Fail.

When the pirate show was a fail, we went wandered back towards Planet Hollywood. On the way we found this bar called Rockhouse which I think was shutting its doors in the near future. One of the girls working there asked Julie and I if we wanted free shots. Of course we said yes, but once in there, she offered to let us play beer pong for free instead with the guys. Definitely down for that! We played girls against guys and Julie was driving later so she made me drink all the shots the boys made, but I wasn’t complaining and we SO won on my fantastical final shot (which is a rare occurrence).

One of the reasons we stopped near the bar in the first place was to get a guitar. Not just any guitar, a guitar full of alcohol…yeah, epic. Not only did I acquire this amazing item, but I also completed my challenge for the night. I was challeged for day one to get a picture of myself drinking from the bottle at a bar or in a casino. I asked her if she’d pour a shot into my mouth and she all too willingly obliged. Challenge accomplished!!

At this point we figured it was time for food, so when we made it to PH, we had the best sandwiches in the world at The Earl of Sandwich. I wish I had been one of those annoying people who takes pictures of their food so I could relive the experience.

There was more wandering around, a little gambling, and plenty of drinking. It is all kind of blur until Hooters, but I do know slowly the alcohol and sleep deprivation began taking its toll so by the time Matt and TOGA decided they wanted wings, I was all for any opportunity to sit down. I ordered a coffee and stole some wings, but mostly I was trying to find my second wind because Matt and Julie still wanted to take us to Freemont Street. Thanks God by the end of the meal we decided to hit Freemont the next night, because I honestly don’t know if I would have made it home.

I may be a rockstar but my body felt like it was 4am and I had only slept four hours total that day. I think I had done pretty well so I have no shame in saying that is how the night ended.

Except it didn’t end there really because we had to find out way back to the car. Drunk, exhausted, and with very little sense of direction, it was all I could do to keep my feet moving at a reasonable pace. We did eventually find the car, and somewhere between 2 and 3 in the morning I was back at the hotel, but that whole part of the night is one I could have done without. Life lessons happened there.