Tag Archives: men

Little Boys Playing Big Boy Games and Losing

6 Nov

As a woman I have never felt so disrespected in my life. This week has been a shit storm of disgusting, hateful, derogatory comments about sex, genitalia, and the use of women for the enjoyment of men….no, boys. I expect it to some extent, they are learning, but to this extreme, it has eaten at my heart and soul. No one, men, man or teen has the right or privilege to talk that way, no one. Yet I have been subjected to sit, listen, and put up with a string of commentation about my gender. Forced to keep my mouth shut because if I allowed the words I wished to say out of my mouth I would no longer be a desirable employee.

I lost it tonight on a young man who has the audacity to come into my program and discuss his male prowess in getting females into bed. If a woman, if any person, is giving you the gift of spending a night or even a moment with them, then the very LEAST you can do is give them the respect that action deserves. If you can’t even do that, you don’t deserve that gift from that person or any other. Your sexual partners are not locker room banter or a way to prove to your buddies that you are the god you think yourself to be. You are not a god, you are scum and should not for one second think otherwise.

No one is an object, whether they have slept with only you or with a hundred others. Notches on your belt don’t make you a more worthy person and they don’t make you worthy of love and affection. What DOES make you worthy of that precious event is when you are able to see it for what is is, and respect and worship the one allowing you into their most intimate spaces.

There are not enough showers to wash away the grime I feel coating every inch of my body. These are young boys and they shouldn’t already be so disenchanted with the world to treat it this way. The most unnerving thought I have is that they must have learned it somewhere. What role models do they have that they already believe the words coming out of their mouths and appropriate and acceptable? What state is our world in when from the very start, these boys are taught disrespect and fowl language are acceptable ways to address their counterparts?

To make it even worse, I have only discussed one small part of the bigger picture. Yes, their language about sex is concerning, but so is the language they use about sexual orientation and race. It is hateful language and I could preach for days about how wrong and misguided they are, but they aren’t going to change because it is coming from a 20-something white girl who in their mind doesn’t understand their generation or their communities.

I started by saying I was disgusted, but in reality maybe I am just sad.

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He’s Just Not That Into You

11 Apr

I no longer understand men. Or maybe I never did and I’ve just been bragging that I had them cornered for too long.

Out of all the things I thought I have learned over the years, I am constantly being proven wrong, over and over again. I don’t “love” easily, but I “like” quickly. I am a sucker for attention and I want my happily ever after so badly that sometimes I see it where it doesn’t exist.

That has never kept me from trying.

I was watching “He’s Just Not That Insto You” again for the thousandth time tonight while talking to not only Toga, but the Hipster too. My feelings toward both are complicated and strange and…well so many things except for simple.

Its at moments like this I wish I could see the future. Maybe not even the whole future, just the vague idea of what the future might be. Then at least I’d have a road map, however crude it might be. I wouldn’t pine for the men that I know I’ll never have and ignore the ones that might actually be worth my time.

No tea leaves, no horoscopes, no trying to invent truth serum or use the force to extract information. That shit’s exhausting.

PS the Hipster really just wasn’t that into me…but he liked the head so he kept coming back. Fucking hipsters

NO!

9 Mar

Telling yourself no is probably one of the hardest things ever required of you in life. Food. Men. Alcohol. Drugs. Etc. All those things you just want and make you feel so good in the moment that just don’t have any benefits past the right now.

This is something I am constantly struggling with. I find this surprising because in general I am a pretty responsible person. Just sometimes, I forget that the goals I have are bigger than what is right in front of me. I like to feel good. I’m human. I am sure most of you can relate.

We are built to satisfy needs, its just who we are. When there is alcohol staring you in the face you think, “hey, tonight would be really fun to get kind of fucked up,” or, “I had a really hard day, it’d be nice to forget that for a little while,” and you get drunk. Who cares if you are purposefully killing brain cells or affecting the functioning of your liver. Its good RIGHT NOW.

Possibly a bigger weakness in my world is men. So many bad decisions are made when a cute, or lets be honest, kind of cute guy is there and willing to satisfy that carnal desire (ore often than not when alcohol is involved and everything seems like a good idea). Bad decisions galore.

Keeping end goals in mind is tough, end of story. Being healthy when you’re fifty. Having a steady boyfriend and not a world full of people that question your morals. Long term happiness is hard to really think about in the moment to moment decisions. BUT SO IMPORTANT!

Its a struggle, but everything worth while pretty much is. Accept this and I’m pretty sure life will reward you.

I’ll let you know when I figure out a master plan on exactly how this is accomplished.

In the mean time, well love yourself anyway and figure it out as you go.

Ok this got cheesy, off to finish that glass of wine 😉