Tag Archives: perspective

The Modern Gentleman

26 Oct

A lot of girls I know, really, probably most girls out there, get caught up in the idea of being swept off our feet by some prince charming. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before, and the improbability of it. This is as much our fault as the men.

I’m not going to go on another rampage about that. Instead I’m going to talk about a recent observation I’ve made.

Maybe Prince Charming and his white horse as we imagine them aren’t a likely reality, but what if he just morphed into something else and we just have to adjust our perspective a bit? We don’t live in the middle ages anymore. Women have achieved so many things and society has changed with us. That doesn’t mean that some tradition didn’t survive.

“Gentlemen” don’t walk around in top hats and morning coats. They don’t “court” the girls they wish to pursue with supervise visits and chaste kisses on the veranda. I would argue, however, that this doesn’t mean some men haven’t been able to take these ideas and adapt them to this new era.

Now that we no longer live in the world of Downton Abbey and Pride and Prejudice, what are the signs of a real gentleman? (In no particular order)

1.  Putting the seat down
2.  Making a fresh pot of coffee before you wake up
3.  Letting you pick the sappiest girly movie and not complaining
4.  Asking whether you want to be on top or on the bottom
5.  Sending you flowers after he knows he was an ass hole
6.  Trying something really corny just because it sounds romantic
7.  Making you a play list
8.  Picking up the take out
9.  Opening the door (an oldie but a goody)
10.  Not letting you insist on splitting the check (unless you really get stubborn about it)
11.  Getting up with you before work even if he can sleep in later than you
12.  Wearing your favorite shirt just because he knows you like it
13.  Doing the chore you reeeeeeally hate (cause its icky)
14.  Texting you to see how your day is going
15.  Making voice contact when possible in lieu of a text
16.  Just buying the damn tampons
17.  Bringing home your favorite candy (mmm Sweedish Fish)
18.  Making sure you know he’s alive when he’s been out drinking
19.  Loves his mother and treats her like a Queen
20.  and perhaps most importantly, telling you that he likes/loves/cares/admires you because he knows you need to hear it

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Only Human

20 Nov

I started this adventure with all of you with the resolve to not share my musings with anyone I actually know. I wanted to be honest. Honest without restraint or care for what other people thought. My mind is a sordid place and sometimes I feel that not everyone in my life would understand it. I can be a bitch. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I play games and those games don’t always end well for the other people involved. I don’t make apologies for the things I have done, but that doesn’t mean I want certain people to know about them.

I broke this promise to myself months ago when I accidentally allowed the Sloth to see the URL one drunken night. I think I was so carefree with this because I knew he was the one person that would not judge me for one single word I wrote. I actually in the end was thankful someone else’s eyes were on it that knows me. We have discussed a post or two here or there and I always appreciate an outsider’s perspective on my universe.

Recently, I made the executive decision to allow someone else I hold dear access to this world that is purely my creation. LP is someone I hold dear to my heart and also is someone who regards me as I am and loves me none the less. I would trust her with my life, but trusting her with this was a decision that was difficult.

The question I pose now is why?

I pride myself on being honest and open with almost everyone. I don’t shy away from confrontation or compromise who I am for what someone else wants me to be. But there is a difference between living a life of openness with the world around you when asked to proffer information, and openly offering every piece of information to the world around you.

It’s natural to shade pieces of yourself and what you know to be true. It feels too exposed, makes you too vulnerable not to hold certain things close to yourself. We need certain things to be only for us to satisfy our human nature. Fight or flight in a way. We were born with it and its there to protect us.

In starting this, I wanted it to be an exploration of being entirely vulnerable. Open to criticism. So why does it feel harder when people know who are actually in the story? I think the answer is obvious. The faceless and nameless is easier than dealing with any repercussions to be had from revelations that may not have been openly available in the moment.

Yet, I claim that I am open and honest, so really it shouldn’t matter.

There inlies the irony my friends, as well as the lesson. None of us are free of secrets. Its natural and not anything to be ashamed of in the least. We are only human after all.