Tag Archives: rockstar

Does this mean I have to be an adult now??

27 Aug

In a few short days I will be 25 years old. That is halfway through my 20s, a quarter of a century, probably at least a third of the way to dead. Its a big deal.

You may not have realized this about me yet, but I tend to have major freak outs over things most others would find fairly simple. I don’t think turning 25 is underwhelming, but more than once I have been informed it really isn’t that big of a deal, I’m still young, and I need to calm down.


I feel what I feel and I can’t help it. I’ll have mini panic attacks, semi-inconvenient crises, and whatever the eff else I feel like having!!

FFeeeewww deep breathes.

Suffice it to say, I am dealing, but not always well. Part of me feels as if I should have progressed farther along my life path by now, part of me is impressed with myself for getting where I am and maintaining a rockstar lifestyle, and part of me wants to revert, abandon everything, and live on a commune for a few years (a commune with booze, and maybe some illegal substances).

Take my party for example. I’m having it a few days after the fact so I can celebrate with friends back home. What I really want to do is go on a tour of the Naragansette Brewery in Cranston, RI then out for lunch at my favorite chinese buffet. Instead of just saying this, I thought maybe I should make sure my friends weren’t expecting something a little more grown up. After days of no response, having to repeat myself, and one even saying he wants to throw a fucking surprise party for his fiance the same fucking day, what I really WANT to do is throw a fucking temper tantrum and make everyone do what I want to do. ITS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

Of course there is that little voice in my head telling me no and reining me in and reminding me I’m turning 25 and I need to be an adult about this and share my toys. However, there is still that 5 year old in there beating her fists on the ground and even if she manages to put on her party dress and play big girl for the day, she’s going to be pissed. Why should she (I) have to on the one day I’m supposed to be allowed to be selfish??

We’ll see what happens, but in all seriousness, this birthday has brought on a lot of self-reflection and evaluation of life choices. I have felt the need more than once to make some amends as well as make some hard decisions.

TOGA and I had a pretty rough fight over a week ago and haven’t spoken since. I don’t know that we will make nice this time, and for lots of reasons I’m ok with that. It breaks my heart, don’t get me wrong here. I’m devastated by this turn it seems we have taken, but it took just that one push to see just how unhealthy we are for each other. We bring out the worst in the other. I used to be able to say he makes me want to be a better person, but now all I see is judgement and blame for the things I can’t fix. I’m no better, and that is the point, we stopped building up and started tearing down.

Anyway, random tangent, but its things like that, and things that still need fixing from a year ago. I still yearn for that fresh start, a new path that breaks the old cycles. I need out of my comfort zone and into a new adventure. Quarter life crisis? Maybe, but who ever said that was a bad thing?

That’s What you get for Waking up in Vegas pt2

26 Jun

Monday April 30, 2012

(The only post that actually happened in Vegas)

I am never leaving this town, I have without a doubt found my home. Yeah yeah I know, everyone keeps telling me to wait a couple days and see if I’m still saying that, but seriously.

Its Tuesday morning (its only TUESday!!) and I’m too tired to move, but still stuck on east coast time so my body thinks it slept in too late even though here its only 8am and we didn’t get home and into bed until close to 3am. As an alternative to trying to roll over to force myself to sleep more which won’t work and will end up just frustrating me, I decided to start this post. I don’t know if I’m going to try to do it all in one or break it up (probably the later), but I do know I won’t post it until I get home and can add pictures.

This place is AMAZING! Bright lights, alcohol everywhere ALL the time, and so much to see and do. It has exceeded my expectations beyond my wildest dreams.

We didn’t end up going out Sunday night (I know fail). I was a little aggravated as that had been my intention but TOGA didn’t want to after we finally got to the hotel and checked in close to 2am. I was going to just go have a drink somewhere by myself, but instead took a bath and had a minibar nip (which probably cost ten bucks). I can see how it was the responsible decision, but the rockstar in my head is still disappointed to such an anticlimactic first night.

The hotel room is FUCKING amazing!! We are staying at the Hard Rock in a suite and it is the best room I have ever stayed in ever.

    (the swan 2?)

Monday (for all intensive purposes for the rest of this post today) I was up bright and early…6am here as a matter of fact…after only 3ish hours of sleep. My body thought it was 9am and freaked out that I wasn’t up. Obviously I wasn’t going to wake TOGA up, so instead I did an 8 minute abs workout and a little booty buster then took my time getting ready for the day. When it was 9am and TOGA still was not ready to get out of bed, I decided to go exploring solo…and find coffee. I started meandering around the hotel. All the hotel/casinos are hugemongous (some obviously more so than others) and ours is moderately sized, not difficult to navigate, but plenty to see.

I found my bearings, found me some starbucks, and saw a good chunk of what there was to see within the Hard Rock itself, then decided to take this adventure outside. The Hard Rock is technically on the strip, but its a good mile from the Las Vegas Blvd which is the quintessential “Vegas,” then the Blvd itself is a good 7-8 mile stretch. I didn’t really realize this when I started walking, but I learned quickly when I was walking through the dessert in my sundress. In all honesty it wasn’t that bad and I walked that stretch at least 3 more times that day, gotta work off the alcohol intake somehow.

Anyway, I didn’t go further than Planet Hollywood which was on the corner of Harmon (the street the Hard Rock is on) and the Blvd. Pretty much a glorified mall that I wandered around and checked out breakfast deals. I decided to wait for TOGA for food and, more importantly, my first drink.

I called TOGA around 10am and he said he was going to get out of bed and get ready so I started my treck back. I was going to take a taxi, but decided against it.

After I grabbed him, we walked back to the Blvd. and did a little exploring. I wanted to go to a breakfast buffet, specifically at the Bellagio, but we had some trouble navigating. It was fine though and didn’t actually find it until lunchtime. In the process, we saw Caesar’s Palace, The Bellagio, and ended up down at Planet Hollywood again where we actually ended up eating. I can’t even put into words the beauty and decadence of it all so I’m going to throw in a few pictures which won’t even come close to portraying it either, but they’ll give you an idea. We saw so many beautiful pieces of architecture, the world’s largest H&M store, an pretty sweet NFL store, and designer brands galore. We did some gambling and I even won a little money…which of course didn’t last long when I tried to attempt black jack later on. That is NOT something I’m good at fyi.



When we finally did sit down to eat it was happy hour at the place called Yolos in the Planet Hollywood casino. We definitely decided happy hours were good ideas for saving money and intend to take advantage.

We headed back to the Hard Rock at that point to avoid anymore gambling and maybe pick up the free bottle of alcohol that we got with out room reservation. That part didn’t happen because the place we needed to get it closed at 5, but naptime was a better idea, especially since we were both pretty well day drunk at that point.

A couple hours later, TOGA’s friends Matt and Julie who recently moved to Vegas were texting him and we decided we’d meet up. We got ready, grabbed a drink at the hotel bar and waited. When they got there (with their car!) we debated what to do and with the semblance of a plan headed out.

Las Vegas nightlife is exhilarating to say the least. I don’t want to go into everything we did (since there was SOOO much in so few hours) so I’ll hit some highlights…

Aria and Crystals: we just walked through but it is a wanna-be extravagantly classy girl’s fantasy.

Sugar: a store full of clothes and candy…and some candy clothes


The Flamingo: learned some tips and tricks for gambling from our friends

Harrahs: there was a little free standing bar where the bartender did all these amazing tricks and made TOGA a four foot tall long island


On our way to our next stop we saw this woman with a parrot and a smaller bird. Another couple was taking pictures with the bird on their heads and we stopped to watch. Someone suggested that I should do it…so, well, I did. Side note, the woman was from Peabody so we chatted a bit about north shore gossip.


One of the goals of the night had been to see two free show, one was a volcano in front of the Mirage and the other was a pirate show in front of Treasure Island. We saw the volcano driving in, but missed seeing the show closer. The pirate show we started, but then they cancelled it due to technical difficulties before they even got halfway through. Fail.

When the pirate show was a fail, we went wandered back towards Planet Hollywood. On the way we found this bar called Rockhouse which I think was shutting its doors in the near future. One of the girls working there asked Julie and I if we wanted free shots. Of course we said yes, but once in there, she offered to let us play beer pong for free instead with the guys. Definitely down for that! We played girls against guys and Julie was driving later so she made me drink all the shots the boys made, but I wasn’t complaining and we SO won on my fantastical final shot (which is a rare occurrence).

One of the reasons we stopped near the bar in the first place was to get a guitar. Not just any guitar, a guitar full of alcohol…yeah, epic. Not only did I acquire this amazing item, but I also completed my challenge for the night. I was challeged for day one to get a picture of myself drinking from the bottle at a bar or in a casino. I asked her if she’d pour a shot into my mouth and she all too willingly obliged. Challenge accomplished!!

At this point we figured it was time for food, so when we made it to PH, we had the best sandwiches in the world at The Earl of Sandwich. I wish I had been one of those annoying people who takes pictures of their food so I could relive the experience.

There was more wandering around, a little gambling, and plenty of drinking. It is all kind of blur until Hooters, but I do know slowly the alcohol and sleep deprivation began taking its toll so by the time Matt and TOGA decided they wanted wings, I was all for any opportunity to sit down. I ordered a coffee and stole some wings, but mostly I was trying to find my second wind because Matt and Julie still wanted to take us to Freemont Street. Thanks God by the end of the meal we decided to hit Freemont the next night, because I honestly don’t know if I would have made it home.

I may be a rockstar but my body felt like it was 4am and I had only slept four hours total that day. I think I had done pretty well so I have no shame in saying that is how the night ended.

Except it didn’t end there really because we had to find out way back to the car. Drunk, exhausted, and with very little sense of direction, it was all I could do to keep my feet moving at a reasonable pace. We did eventually find the car, and somewhere between 2 and 3 in the morning I was back at the hotel, but that whole part of the night is one I could have done without. Life lessons happened there.